Fan Of Relationship Humor Gifts

'This is to strengthen mutual trust.'

'I've discovered the coldest place on earth.'

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Life is for the birds.

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

"First date hairball... awkward."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"You really ought to cut down on your scream time."

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

"I said I'd give you the world, didn't I?"

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

Excess Baggage: By the time the male of the species admits he is lost. It is generally too late.

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"You're hogging the covers again!"

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

Reading the sports pages.

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

Always Compatible

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"I've learned something about you tonight, Alan. You say 'chowmein' when you mean 'lomein'."

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

'Whaddya mean, 'Quit hogging the blanket'? There's a blanket in here?

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."