Relationship Comedy Enthusiasts Gifts

'I don't like the way your eyes light up when that nurse comes in!'

Life is for the birds.

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

"First date hairball... awkward."

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

'Stop staring and make a wish!'

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

"My wife thought the phrase 'stick it to the man' meant everyone, hence we're divorced. My new girlfriend and I met at a party. She's krazy, man. We bonded right away and now she's pregnant. It's a squeeze top. My brother's in rehab for sniffing. He never could get his nose out of my business."

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

"That was Copernicus on the phone – he says you're NOT the centre of the universe!"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"My wife says she wants you to make me fit for purpose."

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

"Open a wine that will make me want to watch the shows you want to watch."

"You don't sniff my butt anymore."

"It's Doris Kearns Goodwin. Is there anything we'd like to know about the Presidency?"

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

Debbie greatly misinterpreted the marriage counselor's suggestion that she and Tom have a monthly 'date night.'

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

'If I inspired this love peom, how come it's written on the back of a Hooters' napkin?'

"Phil, honey, do you ever think about taking our relationship to the next level?"

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

'His ego needs lipo suction!'

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

'Doris,do you realize you are destroying a perfectly happy marriage?'

'Roger, you're just a Rooster and I'm just a Hen. Is all of this necessary?'

'man trouble? What you need is a big piece of cake.'

'There you go again...constantly snagging!'

'Can't you be happy without forever whistling?'

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

So … how did you two meet?