Relationship Comedy Lover Gifts

"Damn, you are smooth."

"Is that my pipe?"

"I'm selling you on eBay."

'My marriage was on the rocks but we're fine now...No, he went his way and I went mine.'

"Eric, wife swapping doesn't mean with your first wife, stupid"

"Be honest with me, Jane! Is there somebody else?"

"Great news, darling.... our new neighbour's a doctor."

"I'm sorry you decided to leave us! I will really miss your wife at our company parties!"

"What makes you think I doubt your abilities?"

Life is for the birds.

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

'This should be perfect. The main characters fall in love during a series of explosions.'

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"Call me?"

"First date hairball... awkward."

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

You were warned about mixed marriages.

'Stop staring and make a wish!'

Love is in the air...

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

Pole vaulter jumping Lover's Leap.

Reading the sports pages.

'Big date tonight, but I've just shed an antler: Do you have superglue?'

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

"My wife thought the phrase 'stick it to the man' meant everyone, hence we're divorced. My new girlfriend and I met at a party. She's krazy, man. We bonded right away and now she's pregnant. It's a squeeze top. My brother's in rehab for sniffing. He never could get his nose out of my business."

"He should be up and complaining in no time."