Relationship Comedy Lover Pillows

"Damn, you are smooth."

"Is that my pipe?"

"I'm selling you on eBay."

'My marriage was on the rocks but we're fine now...No, he went his way and I went mine.'

"Eric, wife swapping doesn't mean with your first wife, stupid"

"Be honest with me, Jane! Is there somebody else?"

"Great news, darling.... our new neighbour's a doctor."

"I'm sorry you decided to leave us! I will really miss your wife at our company parties!"

"What makes you think I doubt your abilities?"

Life is for the birds.

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

'This should be perfect. The main characters fall in love during a series of explosions.'

"Call me?"

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"First date hairball... awkward."

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

"Did you bring any protection with you?"

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

You were warned about mixed marriages.

'Stop staring and make a wish!'

Love is in the air...

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

"My wife thought the phrase 'stick it to the man' meant everyone, hence we're divorced. My new girlfriend and I met at a party. She's krazy, man. We bonded right away and now she's pregnant. It's a squeeze top. My brother's in rehab for sniffing. He never could get his nose out of my business."

Pole vaulter jumping Lover's Leap.

'Big date tonight, but I've just shed an antler: Do you have superglue?'

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

Reading the sports pages.

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

Salt and Pepper