Relationship Comedy Fans Pillows

"Look, I'm very sorry Judy but I really feel I need a new porpoise in life."

'Honey, I swear to you, Lapland is not a gentlemen's club.'

'My New Year's resolution is to stop playing around on my wife.. so we'll have to quit this at midnight.'

Life is for the birds.

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

"First date hairball... awkward."

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

'Stop staring and make a wish!'

"You keep fumblin' with that bra, Cowboy, and you're never gettin' to second base."

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

Adam and Eve: Reconcilable Differences

"My wife thought the phrase 'stick it to the man' meant everyone, hence we're divorced. My new girlfriend and I met at a party. She's krazy, man. We bonded right away and now she's pregnant. It's a squeeze top. My brother's in rehab for sniffing. He never could get his nose out of my business."

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"That was Copernicus on the phone – he says you're NOT the centre of the universe!"

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

"My wife says she wants you to make me fit for purpose."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"Open a wine that will make me want to watch the shows you want to watch."

"It's Doris Kearns Goodwin. Is there anything we'd like to know about the Presidency?"

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

"You don't sniff my butt anymore."

"Phil, honey, do you ever think about taking our relationship to the next level?"

Debbie greatly misinterpreted the marriage counselor's suggestion that she and Tom have a monthly 'date night.'

The Plinth Wedding Planner Co.

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

'It started with a kiss - then their nose rings got locked.'

'If I inspired this love peom, how come it's written on the back of a Hooters' napkin?'

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

'Roger, you're just a Rooster and I'm just a Hen. Is all of this necessary?'

'man trouble? What you need is a big piece of cake.'