Relationship Comedy Enthusiasts Prints

'I don't like the way your eyes light up when that nurse comes in!'

Life is for the birds.

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"First date hairball... awkward."

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

'Stop staring and make a wish!'

"My wife thought the phrase 'stick it to the man' meant everyone, hence we're divorced. My new girlfriend and I met at a party. She's krazy, man. We bonded right away and now she's pregnant. It's a squeeze top. My brother's in rehab for sniffing. He never could get his nose out of my business."

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

"My wife says she wants you to make me fit for purpose."

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

"That was Copernicus on the phone – he says you're NOT the centre of the universe!"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"Open a wine that will make me want to watch the shows you want to watch."

"You don't sniff my butt anymore."

"It's Doris Kearns Goodwin. Is there anything we'd like to know about the Presidency?"

"Phil, honey, do you ever think about taking our relationship to the next level?"

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

'Doris,do you realize you are destroying a perfectly happy marriage?'

'His ego needs lipo suction!'

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

"He was a rescue."

'There you go again...constantly snagging!'

'Roger, you're just a Rooster and I'm just a Hen. Is all of this necessary?'

'Can't you be happy without forever whistling?'

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'