Quirky Relationship Humor Aficionado Pillows

'My new girlfriend's OK I suppose, but she has an arse like the back of a cart-horse'

"First date hairball... awkward."

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

"You don't whisper anymore."

"You're hogging the covers again!"

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

"Open a wine that will make me want to watch the shows you want to watch."

"You don't sniff my butt anymore."

"It's Doris Kearns Goodwin. Is there anything we'd like to know about the Presidency?"

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

"Trust me. It's no big deal. I'm even tuning you out right now."

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

Still Lives: 'What's wrong, don't you love me anymore?'

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

'Roger, you're just a Rooster and I'm just a Hen. Is all of this necessary?'

'His ego needs lipo suction!'

'I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer.'

'I used to think it was her red dress, but I've discovered I find your mother irritating in any color.'

What do I want out of our relationship? Same thing anyone wants. Good value.

"I liked it better when we just had your people call my people."

"I told you. All men are reptiles.!

"What's come between us?"

"If you'll have me, I'd like to be your blind spot."

"Well yes, pretty and kind were big factors, but her nitpicking abilities are what really won me over..."

'Marry me!'

"I want an instant replay of you taking out the garbage."

"Manfred, don't get so defensive!"

"Ogden, you're taking yourself too damn seriously."

'I fu*@!Ng hate you!!!'