Sex Life Commentator Pillows

"Oh sure, I've had multiple orgasms...I had one in 1999 and one in 2004!"

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

"This not the way I envisioned falling in love."

There were a million things Alexander Hamilton hadn't done

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

'There's a NAGGING blog?'

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

"The doctor wants you to point to where it hurts."

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

How it started: How it's going

Our Troubled Chowders

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

'I was texting when my pop spilled on my laptop, which made me drop my iPod. So you see, officer, it wasn't my fault. Blame technology.'

'We're looking for a wifi hotspot.'

"Now who's being judgy?"

'Here's a list of women I want you to stay away from at the party tonight.'

"I don't see what you see in him."

"Yes I know...she just needs a passport!"

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

'Her being multi-lingual has it's drawbacks I'm afraid-she nags me in SIX languages!'

"It just doesn't crackle like the one on Netflix."

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

"Meaning of life!!" "Meaning of 'Game of Thrones' series finale"

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

"I'm pretty sure there's a Starbucks on the other side of that big rock."