Sex Life Pillows

'...I love it when you talk dirty!'

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

Romance

"Are all Brits bisexual, or just the ones who publish their diaries?"

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

The Streets - Night

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"It's no good - I just can't do this without a brief and a deadline."

WHO checklist

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

'Someday, son, when I've gone to that big roundup in the sky all this will be yours.'

Sex Education

"I see a couch."

"When you said you like to experiment in the bedroom..."

"Embarrassing things that happen to you in the bedroom stay in the bedroom. . . and on facebook."

Heart To Heart

Darn it, you're touching my half of the loveseat again. (Published originally on Feb. 20, 2008.)

'Looks like the doctor confirmed my diagnosis. It's not just your bowel. Everything about you is irritable.'

"Where do you to go?"

'The girls in the office said you were very energetic in bed - the lying bastards!'

'Nots so hot on my SATS, but I aced my STDS.'

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

Romances

The perils of overwork.

"Same thing every morning. Crack of Don at the crack of dawn."

'. . . You seem to have a strange obsession with shyness and safe sex. . .'

Sex therapy clinic

Candles In Bed

"I hate her snoring, especially during sex."

Les Bons Bourgeois - Returning home between 11 o'clock and midnight

"Frankly, I've repressed my sexuality so long I've actually forgotten what my orientation is."

'Sex is good!'

"How many sex partners have you had?"