Modern Love Commentator Pillows

'Will you marry me, Miss?'

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

'Does this say 'transitional husband' to you?'

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"This not the way I envisioned falling in love."

Goodnight Social Media.

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

"The doctor wants you to point to where it hurts."

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

Our Troubled Chowders

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

"Sometime I find it hard to believe that we found each other through regular channels."

'There's a NAGGING blog?'

'I was texting when my pop spilled on my laptop, which made me drop my iPod. So you see, officer, it wasn't my fault. Blame technology.'

'Her being multi-lingual has it's drawbacks I'm afraid-she nags me in SIX languages!'

"I don't see what you see in him."

"I'm pretty sure there's a Starbucks on the other side of that big rock."

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

"Meaning of life!!" "Meaning of 'Game of Thrones' series finale"

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

"We even tried cyber sex, but the line was always busy."

'Here's a list of women I want you to stay away from at the party tonight.'