Modern Love Commentator Gifts

'Will you marry me, Miss?'

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'I'd like to dedicate this next tune to those who have discovered love, gotten married, and wished desperately for death.'

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

'Does this say 'transitional husband' to you?'

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"This not the way I envisioned falling in love."

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

Goodnight Social Media.

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."

"The doctor wants you to point to where it hurts."

"Sometime I find it hard to believe that we found each other through regular channels."

'There's a NAGGING blog?'

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

Our Troubled Chowders

Blues for now.

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

'I was texting when my pop spilled on my laptop, which made me drop my iPod. So you see, officer, it wasn't my fault. Blame technology.'

"I'm pretty sure there's a Starbucks on the other side of that big rock."

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

'We're looking for a wifi hotspot.'

"Meaning of life!!" "Meaning of 'Game of Thrones' series finale"

"I don't see what you see in him."

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."