Love Life Commentator Gifts

"Yes, it was good for me - not as good as it was the last time, but probably better than it's going to be the time after this."

'Someone who can appreciate how lucky she is.'

'I slipped into something less comfortable.'

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

'My wife is having an affair with a married man. . . it's me! . . . So I guess that makes it ok, huh?'

"Check this out - I think the guy behind us just got lucky!"

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

"Siri, find me someone better."

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

"I told you not to touch it. I should've used your language and told you not to click on it."

"This not the way I envisioned falling in love."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

"The doctor wants you to point to where it hurts."

How it started: How it's going

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

'There's a NAGGING blog?'

Our Troubled Chowders

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

'I was texting when my pop spilled on my laptop, which made me drop my iPod. So you see, officer, it wasn't my fault. Blame technology.'