Dating Life Commentator Gifts

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

"This not the way I envisioned falling in love."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

"What on earth do they find to talk about?"

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

'You will never require the services of a dating agency.'

'There's a NAGGING blog?'

"The doctor wants you to point to where it hurts."

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

How it started: How it's going

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

Our Troubled Chowders

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

'I was texting when my pop spilled on my laptop, which made me drop my iPod. So you see, officer, it wasn't my fault. Blame technology.'

'We're looking for a wifi hotspot.'

'oh...You're home, just when my spirits were rising.'

'Her being multi-lingual has it's drawbacks I'm afraid-she nags me in SIX languages!'

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

"Yes I know...she just needs a passport!"

"It just doesn't crackle like the one on Netflix."

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

"I don't see what you see in him."

"Meaning of life!!" "Meaning of 'Game of Thrones' series finale"

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

"I'm pretty sure there's a Starbucks on the other side of that big rock."