Dating Life Commentator Pillows

Frogs - I think he likes you.

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'I'd like to dedicate this next tune to those who have discovered love, gotten married, and wished desperately for death.'

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"This not the way I envisioned falling in love."

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

"It's a legal document authorizing you to carry out a Do Not Resuscitate order on my behalf, although heaven knows, you have a hard enough time cancelling a magazine subscription."

Man watches a cat enter a pet door to a "V.I.P. Lounge" in an airport

How it started: How it's going

'You will never require the services of a dating agency.'

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

Our Troubled Chowders

'There's a NAGGING blog?'

"What on earth do they find to talk about?"

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

"The doctor wants you to point to where it hurts."

'I was texting when my pop spilled on my laptop, which made me drop my iPod. So you see, officer, it wasn't my fault. Blame technology.'

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

'Her being multi-lingual has it's drawbacks I'm afraid-she nags me in SIX languages!'

'So, did your marriage counseling work?', 'It sure did! -- She ran off with the marriage counselor!'

"Now who's being judgy?"

'We're looking for a wifi hotspot.'

"It just doesn't crackle like the one on Netflix."

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

"Meaning of life!!" "Meaning of 'Game of Thrones' series finale"

"Yes I know...she just needs a passport!"

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"