Love Life Comedians Gifts

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

Toothbrush Romance

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

I thought I was proposing to Sally, but evidently I was challenging her to a twenty year series of debates.

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

'They call me Portugese Man of War, but I'm really just a jellyfish of love.'

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

'No, but thanks for asking.'

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

'If I inspired this love peom, how come it's written on the back of a Hooters' napkin?'

"Phil, honey, do you ever think about taking our relationship to the next level?"

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

The Porkypine Pals - Moon Business

Woody Allen

"Morning, sir. We've received reports that you've been wielding an inappropriate attitude without a permit."

'Do you take this annoying woman to be your lawful wedded wife?'

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

'You've had a bad day? Try being stuck in this house!'

'Mr. Whipple, what other qualifications do you have - apart from your quite excellent Donald Duck impression?'

"For richer or poorer, in function and dysfunction,..."

"We think we've found the murder weapon Sir"

Frank and Ernie's Classic Cars. '40s - '50s - '60s. Hi! Do you have any cars with fins in the back? Sorry, sir, nothing with Fins in the back -- but there are a couple with Norwegians in the trunk!

An early turning-point in old Hollywood...

"I followed the money and it led me to Edgar."

We would have come to you sooner, but he wouldn't ask for directions.

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. Amanda Kern. Comics Counseling. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

'My husband's first name? Heck, I don't know! I call him `wimp` since we met the first time'!