Couple Comedians Gifts

"Wake up Jeff. You're snoring again!"

"I followed the money and it led me to Edgar."

Certificate in Living Room Celebrating Three Days Without Argument

"You have your emotional support animal and I have mine."

Stand-up Romcom

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"Phil, honey, do you ever think about taking our relationship to the next level?"

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

'To begin with, he's from Mars, I'm from Venus...'

'I'm home, Honey! Come see what I picked up at the Farmers Market!'

Bride of Frankenstein charges her phone

"Don't you dare try to sneak out of this cartoon!"

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

"Women do not appreciate power tools as last minute gift ideas."

'Use a tissue, dear. There's an icicle on your nose.'

'I want one that says 'get lost' but includes a pocket compass.'

'You don't sniff my butt anymore.'

Critics In Love

Applecart - "Its's just there as a reminder!"

Female sock walks away from male sock, saying: 'Look, it's just a trial separation, OK?'

'I gave him the best years of my life. That's true. Then we got married.'

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''

"Oh my gosh babe! These cute little otters want us to play with them."

"I figured I'd start with one love handle and if you liked it, go for the pair."

'Sorry darling, I'm too tired to lift you onto your pedestal tonight.'

'When we were first married, he was all 'Cock-A-Doodle-Do.' Now, he's just 'Cock-A-Doodle-Don't.''

"Oh man... there is nothing like a cigarette after a passionate night of 'texting'!"

'Last seen running away from St. Paul's Church...'

"I want to make it with you."

'What do you want that for? You're already going nowhere fast.'

"OK - I'll say it again - I love you even more than my p******* hour."