Comedy Couple Gifts

"I'll start dancing like Fred Astaire, when you stop dancing like Nellie the Elephant!"

'You always insist on having the last word.'

Stand-up Romcom

'When we were first married, he was all 'Cock-A-Doodle-Do.' Now, he's just 'Cock-A-Doodle-Don't.''

'Sorry darling, I'm too tired to lift you onto your pedestal tonight.'

'Hi honey I'm Home.'

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

Tantrum sex.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

'To begin with, he's from Mars, I'm from Venus...'

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

Bride of Frankenstein charges her phone

'The oceans are vast, yet we never go anywhere!'

"I followed the money and it led me to Edgar."

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

"One more word from you and I am leaving home."

'Use a tissue, dear. There's an icicle on your nose.'

'You don't sniff my butt anymore.'

Applecart - "Its's just there as a reminder!"

Female sock walks away from male sock, saying: 'Look, it's just a trial separation, OK?'

'I gave him the best years of my life. That's true. Then we got married.'

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''

"You have your emotional support animal and I have mine."

"I want to make it with you."

"OK - I'll say it again - I love you even more than my p******* hour."

Certificate in Living Room Celebrating Three Days Without Argument

'Oh, don't feel bad. They say it happens to all men at some point. But then again, I never did hear of it happening to a bear!'

"I figured I'd start with one love handle and if you liked it, go for the pair."

'Barely an love and already arguing.'

"Oh my gosh babe! These cute little otters want us to play with them."