Comedian Couple Gifts

"I can write my name in the snow. I bet you can't do that."

Stand-up Romcom

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

I thought I was proposing to Sally, but evidently I was challenging her to a twenty year series of debates.

'No, but thanks for asking.'

'If you're going to marry this geek, I suggest you get the extended warranty.'

'To begin with, he's from Mars, I'm from Venus...'

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

"I followed the money and it led me to Edgar."

"The secret of our relationship? Easy. She just acts as if I don't even exist."

'I'm home, Honey! Come see what I picked up at the Farmers Market!'

Bride of Frankenstein charges her phone

We would have come to you sooner, but he wouldn't ask for directions.

"Don't you dare try to sneak out of this cartoon!"

"Edgar, I'm talking to you! For goodness sake, has the cat got your tongue?"

'Use a tissue, dear. There's an icicle on your nose.'

'You don't sniff my butt anymore.'

"Can you train him to bite my husband whenever the trash gets full?"

'My husband's first name? Heck, I don't know! I call him `wimp` since we met the first time'!

"One more word from you and I am leaving home."

"And that's another thing, when did you last take me out ?"

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

Applecart - "Its's just there as a reminder!"

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''

Female sock walks away from male sock, saying: 'Look, it's just a trial separation, OK?'

'I gave him the best years of my life. That's true. Then we got married.'

"I figured I'd start with one love handle and if you liked it, go for the pair."

"You have your emotional support animal and I have mine."

'When we were first married, he was all 'Cock-A-Doodle-Do.' Now, he's just 'Cock-A-Doodle-Don't.''

Certificate in Living Room Celebrating Three Days Without Argument

"OK - I'll say it again - I love you even more than my p******* hour."

"I want to make it with you."

'Sorry darling, I'm too tired to lift you onto your pedestal tonight.'

'What do you want that for? You're already going nowhere fast.'

"Oh my gosh babe! These cute little otters want us to play with them."