Romantic Comedians Gifts

'This is my wife of 42 years...uh...' 'Lisa.'

'This is what you meant when you said you like to be on top?'

'They call me Portugese Man of War, but I'm really just a jellyfish of love.'

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

Love is being close, no matter what...

"It's not as easy as it looks."

Just Married

Under New Management

'We have a love-hate relationship. He's madly in love with me, and I hate his guts.'

'Well there hasn't been a ring yet! But he did say that we were going to look at bridle wear - so, I know what that means. . . he loves me, Joanne.'

"I'll consider your proposal, but first I need a second opinion from your ex-wife."

'Keep it simple, cupid!'

'Now you tell me that you're not good enough for me.'

Bob the cockroach recalls his first kiss, beneath a pump from Bloomingdale's.

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

"How many of these blind dates must we go on before we can start seeing each other?"

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

"Wow! From down here your nostrils look huge!"

'Do you take this annoying woman to be your lawful wedded wife?'

Advertising hoarding proposing marriage (which is rejected).

'And do you Kevin, take, no arm twisting, please.'

'Polly wants to double date!'

'Are our eyes going bad on us are are we beginning to see girls in a different light?'

"If you ladies are going to make a sandwich...I'll be the meat!"

"You don't look anything like your profile picture."

"For richer or poorer, in function and dysfunction,..."

Tina, will u marry me? Bob, will u be my best man? What? They were having a 2-for-1 sale.

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. Amanda Kern. Comics Counseling. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

Your lips still say "No," but you started out with six exclamation points above your head and now you're down to one. !

Toothbrush Romance

"... to have and to hold until you wear ugly underwear around each other?"

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

"Talk nerdy to me."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

Stand-up Romcom