Love Life Humor Gifts

'Let's go upstairs and make love. I can't do both.'

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

How Rings In Nature Indicate Aging.

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

Reading the sports pages.

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

Early man wasn't exactly enthusiastic about the development of language.

His and Hers Wedding

Aging Problems

"What do you mean, there's no room for my stuff?"

'Butch, did you shoot my liberty valance?'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

"You knew I was high maintenance when we met."

Still Lives: 'What's wrong, don't you love me anymore?'

'What d'you mean, I never take you anywhere-who took you to the Festival of Britain?'

'Great sermon, Reverend! Too bad my husband couldn't stay awake to hear it.'

Bowling. 24 Lanes. Going bowling for date night with my girlfriend as a bad idea. A split was inevitable.

'...and another thing - why do I always have to sleep in the wet spot?'

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

Missing Persons - "50 years old, 16 stone and bad tempered... Are you sure you want her back?"

'Have you beed seeing other females?'

'Good news Darling You've received loads of bids,,,'

"Let's take in a trial."

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

"At first, Dwayne's gymnastic prowess had mesmerized Sarah, but now she longed for more..."

"Ah-h, her comes my better half now."

"We never talk anymore."

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."