Love Life Humorist Gifts

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

'Fang, what do you think the chances are that I'll marry that girl second from the end on 'Deal or No Deal'?'

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

Seductive lines that just don't cut it.

"It means he likes you."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

"You really ought to cut down on your scream time."

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"I said I'd give you the world, didn't I?"

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"Yo, Ned Beatty, paddle harder if you ever want to kiss me again."

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

How Rings In Nature Indicate Aging.

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation

Always Compatible

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

"I've learned something about you tonight, Alan. You say 'chowmein' when you mean 'lomein'."

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

Peter

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

I think you'll find that I'm easily encouraged. For instance, the fact that the two exclamation points above your head are tempered by one question mark gives me great hope. !?!