Love Life Humorist Pillows

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

Seductive lines that just don't cut it.

"It means he likes you."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

"Yo, Ned Beatty, paddle harder if you ever want to kiss me again."

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

Always Compatible

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

'Whaddya mean, 'Quit hogging the blanket'? There's a blanket in here?

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"I've learned something about you tonight, Alan. You say 'chowmein' when you mean 'lomein'."

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

Peter