Love Life's Jokester Pillows

"I take her out every night, but she keeps on coming back."

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

A couple dressed as a knife and a fork

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

Wind Tunnel of Love.

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

'Actually, I do mind wearing your pedometer!'

"So yeah - This is my ideal first date."

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

"Do you think someday we'll look back on this and laugh?"

'I didn't know the church sold an extended warrenty on marriage?'

Speech-bubble-head-boy loves think-bubble-head-girl.

Consenting Adults.

Men dancing

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

William, have I ever told you you're the wings beneath my wind?

"Pretty impressive for a product of a 3-D printer."

"With other dates I've been on, long walks on the beach seemed like a cliche, but with you it really feels genuine."

"I'm gonna talk to her. How's my breath?"

'I now pronounce you hooked and booked.'

"Maybe we'd kiss better if we had lips."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"Hey. When I want your help, I'll ask for it."

"If I'd known, I would've changed my vows to; Until bald and fat do we part."

'Mom, would you have married Dad if you had seen him in high definition first?'

'When I said that I'd 'give you a ring', I meant on the phone. . .'

Increase Your Height.

"If we're to have a serious relationship Nigel, you must stop ringing my bell and running away."

'Honestly, I didn't mean any of those things I wrote about you in my diary last night!'

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'