Romantic Jokester Pillows

"Hey, you two, get an office!"

'Okay, you win-we're still married after 25 years. Are you going to buy me a gift with your winnings?'

'Lets synchronize our meds and meet back here when the time is right.'

"Till death do us part? Does that mean by natural causes, or would an accident count?"

'If that's your Porsche ignition key, why does it have a little picture of a robin with Reliant underneath?'

'The middle one is cute.'

The Three Little Words every woman wants to hear - 'the football's finished'.

'No, it's not my new look. Just another random 'loves me, loves me not' dispute.'

"Darling, you complete me!"

'Your intoxication beauty has made me forget my problems, my inhibitions, my wallet. Would you mind paying for the check?'

"I'm okay. I just had a heart attack."

'We were on the way out of the house before I remembered I needed something for the valentine party today.'

'It's his idea of a joke'

'Expecting someone, are we?'

'When I said that I'd 'give you a ring', I meant on the phone. . .'

'Sure it's hyena - you said you wanted a FUN fur!'

'A babe magnet? Shouldn't that be a fridge magnet?!'

'Suzy, I hate to break the news to you like this, but there's a good reason why your new boyfriend doesn't fit in amongst the townsfolk too well...Yes Suzy. He's a Notorious Outlier.'

"That should keep your fancy self-wind watch going for a couple of weeks..."

"Seriously...girls have their own language!"

"Not tonight! I have carpal tunnel syndrome!"

"Too much French kissing, I'm afraid. You've got athlete's tongue."

"I'm gonna talk to her. How's my breath?"

"I'd like to bounce a check."

"My girlfriend said you were cute, but, gosh, she didn't say how cute."

Final score: her-1, you-0

"You ever notice how heavy your head is?"

"I'm worried I'll just laugh about this in the morning."

"Of course my hands are warm, baby. All my blood has rushed to my seuxal organs."

Tinder/Target

"Pretty impressive for a product of a 3-D printer."

"We'd like to update our vows with some bug fixes."

The ultimate in rodent paradise.

Safe Sex Rd. formerly Lovers Lane.

'...Love, honor, and cherish? Remember - you're under oath.'