Literary Jokester Pillows

"This book club isn't fun anymore."

Summer Reading

"An olive or a twist?"

Deconstruction Workers

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

The Ancient Mariner: 'Hey, not enough salt on these peanuts...'

'Good morning, 'DICTIONARIES' department for, like, Similes.'

'Tender and Juicy.'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Fakins IT.

"Bad news, you have bookworms"

"I've found a new way to get rid of rivals, son. I start reading poetry and they just go away without a fight..."

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

A couple dressed as a knife and a fork

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

'Actually, I do mind wearing your pedometer!'

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

Speech-bubble-head-boy loves think-bubble-head-girl.

"Pretty impressive for a product of a 3-D printer."

Death comes to both the Archbishop and the Salesman in Venice

William, have I ever told you you're the wings beneath my wind?

Leaving cards.

'I now pronounce you hooked and booked.'

"I'm gonna talk to her. How's my breath?"

"With other dates I've been on, long walks on the beach seemed like a cliche, but with you it really feels genuine."

Romulus and Remus ( and their brother Derek )

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

'When I said that I'd 'give you a ring', I meant on the phone. . .'

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'