Literary Jokesters Pillows

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."

A Please Wipe Your Feet mat with words mixed up at the Dyslexic clinic.

'Didn't you buy me exactly the same book for my birthday last year?' 'Yes I did... I hope you'll read it this year...'

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

Wind Tunnel of Love.

"So yeah - This is my ideal first date."

Extremely Practical Jokes.

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

Consenting Adults.

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

Man on desert island using elastic to shoot him off the island.

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

"Maybe we'd kiss better if we had lips."

'What, not even a kiss first?'

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

Practical joke, violent offender rehab center: 'Relate to me!'

'I can't make it, I'm dead.'

Increase Your Height.

'We're all gonna have lovely hangovers in the morning!'

Robot porn.

'I know you're tired of hearing the same old political cliches, but I believe in recycling.'

'Any idea why your boyfriend is handing out cigars in the pub?'