Jokesters Of The Absurd Pillows

Extremely Practical Jokes.

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

"If we only use 10% of our brains, how am I supposed to get passing grades?"

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

'What, not even a kiss first?'

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

Practical joke, violent offender rehab center: 'Relate to me!'

'I can't make it, I'm dead.'

'We're all gonna have lovely hangovers in the morning!'

'I know you're tired of hearing the same old political cliches, but I believe in recycling.'

Robot porn.

'Any idea why your boyfriend is handing out cigars in the pub?'

How do bright women get pregnant?

"It was worth a try."

The little rascal! He knows we're watching him and that he's safe next to his warren, so he's mooning us!

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."