Love-life Jokester Pillows

"We constantly argue, go days without talking, and the sex is virtually non-existent."

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

A couple dressed as a knife and a fork

Wind Tunnel of Love.

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

"So yeah - This is my ideal first date."

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

'Actually, I do mind wearing your pedometer!'

"Do you think someday we'll look back on this and laugh?"

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

'They were all out of roses.'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

Men dancing

William, have I ever told you you're the wings beneath my wind?

'I didn't know the church sold an extended warrenty on marriage?'

Speech-bubble-head-boy loves think-bubble-head-girl.

Consenting Adults.

"Pretty impressive for a product of a 3-D printer."

'Why can't you just think irrationally every once in a while?'

'I now pronounce you hooked and booked.'

"Maybe we'd kiss better if we had lips."

"Well, he is at the age now here the repairs are starting to happen. Very quickly the cost exceeds the benefit. You better think about a new one."

"My husband is missing. I haven't seen him since he started wearing camouflage clothes."

'Darling, this is my ex. You know, the one I said you were twice the man of.'

"With other dates I've been on, long walks on the beach seemed like a cliche, but with you it really feels genuine."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'