Relationship Jokesters Pillows

'I'm sorry Adam, but you're ugly... I mean we all are, but especially you.'

I gave up smoking to annoy the wife by living longer.

'Why Walter!! Are you getting fresh?!!'

Bloody toilet seat dispute mediators.

'I do love you, but anything you say, ever, will be remembered and may be used in evidence against you.'

Wordilly Durdillies - George was too good in bed

'Hold everything!- I've decided I'm not good enough for her!'

"I'm just trying to take one day at a time!"

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

You were warned about mixed marriages.

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

A couple dressed as a knife and a fork

Wind Tunnel of Love.

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

"Do you think someday we'll look back on this and laugh?"

"So yeah - This is my ideal first date."

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

"I lose more girlfriends that way."

'Actually, I do mind wearing your pedometer!'

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

'They were all out of roses.'

William, have I ever told you you're the wings beneath my wind?

'I don't care how comfortable you feel with me. This reels weird for a first date.'

"I'm SO lazy, I married a pregnant woman. . . !"

"That's right, Carl. I'm bitchy. I'm supposed to be bitchy."

'I didn't know the church sold an extended warrenty on marriage?'

"I read somewhere that when two people live together for a long time they start to look like each other."

Speech-bubble-head-boy loves think-bubble-head-girl.

"Pretty impressive for a product of a 3-D printer."

Consenting Adults.