Relationship Jokesters Pillows

'I'm sorry Adam, but you're ugly... I mean we all are, but especially you.'

Einstein's T-Shirt reads: My Wife Doesn't Understand Me.

I gave up smoking to annoy the wife by living longer.

"That explains why there's no electricity between us."

'Why Walter!! Are you getting fresh?!!'

Bloody toilet seat dispute mediators.

'I do love you, but anything you say, ever, will be remembered and may be used in evidence against you.'

Wordilly Durdillies - George was too good in bed

'Hold everything!- I've decided I'm not good enough for her!'

"I'm just trying to take one day at a time!"

"It's just till the vasectomy heals."

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

You were warned about mixed marriages.

A couple dressed as a knife and a fork

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

Wind Tunnel of Love.

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

"I lose more girlfriends that way."

"So yeah - This is my ideal first date."

'Actually, I do mind wearing your pedometer!'

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

"Do you think someday we'll look back on this and laugh?"

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

'They were all out of roses.'

"Pretty impressive for a product of a 3-D printer."

William, have I ever told you you're the wings beneath my wind?

'I didn't know the church sold an extended warrenty on marriage?'

'I don't care how comfortable you feel with me. This reels weird for a first date.'

Speech-bubble-head-boy loves think-bubble-head-girl.

"I read somewhere that when two people live together for a long time they start to look like each other."