Relationship Jokers Pillows

"I thought you said you were just passing through."

"Take away the bikini and what are you left with?"

'Admit it, there's another woman, isn't there?'

'Sorry, I don't carry cash, I'm married!'

'Whenever he puts me up on a pedestal, I get nosebleeds.'

Cupid's Arrow Misses, and Dog Falls In Love with a Man's Leg.

Were you in complete control of the car? No my wife was there.

'What, I thought you promised to stop fooling around.'

'You're not having second thoughts, are you?'

'My parents are renewing their wedding vows. . . my mom just notices that my dad had penciled in an expiration date on the marriage license.'

"Wow, that dress doesn't leave anything to the imagination. Unfortunately."

"I'm SO lazy, I married a pregnant woman. . . !"

"...and do you, John, give up your smug air of bemused detachment for the demands of marriage?"

"I wish you wouldn't do that, Dennis!"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

Einstein's T-Shirt reads: My Wife Doesn't Understand Me.

That may well be how the catalk models do it, but I still think you look like a three legged horse in a field of cowpats!

The prying mantis,

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"This will be hilarious!"

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

You were warned about mixed marriages.

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

"You look so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight."

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

Wind Tunnel of Love.