Marriage Jokers Pillows

'I'm sorry, but I just think our lifelong friendship was built on being next to each other alphabetically, and now that I've married, well...'

"You wish we were rich? Sweetheart, why didn't you tell me that thirty years ago?"

"'Member when you said if you ever get to wearin' your pants hiked up to your neck to run you over with the car? . . . Keys, please."

'Sorry, I don't carry cash, I'm married!'

"Due to a technical fault I shall not be making love this evening."

Einstein's T-Shirt reads: My Wife Doesn't Understand Me.

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

"Do you think someday we'll look back on this and laugh?"

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

"You might want to save that for your blog."

Face Mask Romance

"I must come to the supermarket with you sometime dear, they seem to sell everything!"

"I'm SO lazy, I married a pregnant woman. . . !"

'I didn't know the church sold an extended warrenty on marriage?'

"I'm sorry Jayne, but I've got cold feet."

'Good news Darling You've received loads of bids,,,'

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

'Honestly, Harry. It's getting so I can't tell your scratching from the cat's.'

'I'm sorry, Ralph, but you're going to have to move out - Prissy's allergy to your dandruff is getting worse.'

'Why Walter!! Are you getting fresh?!!'

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

'...Love, honor, and obey, no strings attached?'

Dorothy gets a visit from her funny Valentine.

"If I'd known, I would've changed my vows to; Until bald and fat do we part."

'Mom, would you have married Dad if you had seen him in high definition first?'

"I figured you'd end up looking like that."

'Is this what you're looking for, dear?'

'In defense of forgetting our anniversary, I forgot we're married.'

'...I now pronounce you man and wife. You may assume the position.'

'You know I hate weddings - they remind me that I went through one!'

"What are you doing in the box? You're meant to be in the dog house"

"Tell me, have you ever been in a church prior to getting married?"