Couple Jokers Pillows

Gift Suggestions for Post-Diamond Wedding Anniversaries

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

Wind Tunnel of Love.

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

"So yeah - This is my ideal first date."

Photobooth Photobomb

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

Face Mask Romance

"I'm SO lazy, I married a pregnant woman. . . !"

Consenting Adults.

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

Man on desert island using elastic to shoot him off the island.

'To begin with, he's from Mars, I'm from Venus...'

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

'Why Walter!! Are you getting fresh?!!'

"Maybe we'd kiss better if we had lips."

Bride of Frankenstein charges her phone

'I'm home, Honey! Come see what I picked up at the Farmers Market!'

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

Increase Your Height.

'Is this what you're looking for, dear?'

'You don't sniff my butt anymore.'

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''

"It's cardio day for me and external-obliques day for Joan."

'What do you want that for? You're already going nowhere fast.'

'Sorry, I don't carry cash, I'm married!'

'I now pronounce you husband and wife. Let the nagging begin.'

'And make sure you use the AUTOMATED teller, you old goat!'

'Oh, don't feel bad. They say it happens to all men at some point. But then again, I never did hear of it happening to a bear!'