Couple Jokers Pillows

Gift Suggestions for Post-Diamond Wedding Anniversaries

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

Einstein's T-Shirt reads: My Wife Doesn't Understand Me.

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

Wind Tunnel of Love.

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

"So yeah - This is my ideal first date."

Photobooth Photobomb

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

Face Mask Romance

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

"I'm SO lazy, I married a pregnant woman. . . !"

Consenting Adults.

Man on desert island using elastic to shoot him off the island.

'To begin with, he's from Mars, I'm from Venus...'

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

Bride of Frankenstein charges her phone

'I'm home, Honey! Come see what I picked up at the Farmers Market!'

Dorothy gets a visit from her funny Valentine.

"Maybe we'd kiss better if we had lips."

'Why Walter!! Are you getting fresh?!!'

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

'Is this what you're looking for, dear?'

Increase Your Height.

"Edgar, I'm talking to you! For goodness sake, has the cat got your tongue?"

'You don't sniff my butt anymore.'

"It's cardio day for me and external-obliques day for Joan."

'Can't you tell people about our new swimming pool without saying I've 'gone off the deep end?''

'Oh, don't feel bad. They say it happens to all men at some point. But then again, I never did hear of it happening to a bear!'

'Sorry, I don't carry cash, I'm married!'

'What do you want that for? You're already going nowhere fast.'

'I now pronounce you husband and wife. Let the nagging begin.'

Cupid's Arrow Misses, and Dog Falls In Love with a Man's Leg.