Jokesters In Love Pillows

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

Einstein's T-Shirt reads: My Wife Doesn't Understand Me.

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

A couple dressed as a knife and a fork

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

Wind Tunnel of Love.

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

"So yeah - This is my ideal first date."

Extremely Practical Jokes.

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

'Actually, I do mind wearing your pedometer!'

"Do you think someday we'll look back on this and laugh?"

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

'They were all out of roses.'

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

Consenting Adults.

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

"Pretty impressive for a product of a 3-D printer."

William, have I ever told you you're the wings beneath my wind?

'One hundred and forty? You don't look a day over one hundred and thirty nine!'

'Oh, the usual, a postman, a couple of salesmen, a pizza delivery boy, how was your day?'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

Speech-bubble-head-boy loves think-bubble-head-girl.

'I didn't know the church sold an extended warrenty on marriage?'

'They want your underwear.'