Jokesters At Heart Pillows

"Wanna go for a ride on the trouser snake?"

"She'll get the kids, but I'll get our page on the internet."

"It was worth a try."

The little rascal! He knows we're watching him and that he's safe next to his warren, so he's mooning us!

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

Extremely Practical Jokes.

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."

Lesbians for Christ

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

Men dancing

"You never giggle and read cartoon captions to me anymore."

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

Man on desert island using elastic to shoot him off the island.

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

'What, not even a kiss first?'

"Apparently, I'm fun, but I'm no fun in bed."

'Todd don't be such a clown...'

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

'I can't make it, I'm dead.'

Practical joke, violent offender rehab center: 'Relate to me!'

"'Ere -what's YOUR problem...?"

'On the outside I'm all ho-ho-ho. But inside I feel weak and shaky, like a bowl full of jelly.'