Light-hearted Jokesters Pillows

"Enjoying a sudden decrease in vision and hearing, are we, Horndog? Well, guess who's enjoying a headache!"

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

'You're right...these are your hormone pills. Thank goodness we noticed before anything serious happened.'

Man on desert island using elastic to shoot him off the island.

Kid in hospital has I.V. in him that is a straw.

"Nice try, Frank. Mother is still coming for the weekend."

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

Dentist as psychoanalyst with tooth patient on couch

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

"Your Covid-19 Test Results Are In..."

'But seriously, folks... Who knows how many blondes it takes to screw in my latest invention?'

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

'On the outside I'm all ho-ho-ho. But inside I feel weak and shaky, like a bowl full of jelly.'

The little rascal! He knows we're watching him and that he's safe next to his warren, so he's mooning us!

"It was worth a try."

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

'Hello? Animal control?'

'We're having the whole place done over in pistachio!'

"Doctor I think I'm a moth..."

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

Sticker: 'How's my driving you nuts?'

A Please Wipe Your Feet mat with words mixed up at the Dyslexic clinic.

"It's heartbreaking. He blew out his arm training for the season's big modern art exhibit, and he hasn't been able to get anything in the strike zone since then!"

"Stop complaining...now when you wander off in the store, I can find you!"

"Damn kids and their graffiti."

Santa Claus

"He can't be very good, look at his face."

'Question number one: Does your wife ask you questions from women's magazines?'