Fun-loving Jokesters Pillows

Man on desert island using elastic to shoot him off the island.

Everything was fine until Becky's little sister decided to skip double.

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."

"If we only use 10% of our brains, how am I supposed to get passing grades?"

Men dancing

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

Pelobong

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

Lesbians for Christ

Kid in hospital has I.V. in him that is a straw.

Hey boss, that generic soap you gave me isn't really cleaning the cups. Mind if I go get some brand name stuff? Are you insane? There's zero difference between generic and brand name products. Corporate America just cons people into thinking "you get what you pay for." Don't be a stooge, Rudy. Don't fall for it. Now get in there and scrub those cups, minion! Strike a blow for the little guy against corporate lies! Wait ... I'm very confused. Are you a right-winger or a left-winger? You mean in w

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! Malaprop Man! I hear you told people in England you're royalty. Yeah, at first they didn't realize that I was only Joe King. I was an error to the throne who rained for forty days and forty knights. It's disappointing though that I never got to see a pig riding contest at Bucking Ham palace. And I never met Sherlock Holmes. He's the guy who followed the foot prince!

'On the outside I'm all ho-ho-ho. But inside I feel weak and shaky, like a bowl full of jelly.'

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

Celebrity Clown Rehab: 'And so how does that make you feel, Chuckles?'

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

The little rascal! He knows we're watching him and that he's safe next to his warren, so he's mooning us!

"It was worth a try."

'Life size enlargements done here.' - 'Do my pictures of the pyramids please.'

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

"So I'll have to believe it so see it?"

'We're having the whole place done over in pistachio!'

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

"It's heartbreaking. He blew out his arm training for the season's big modern art exhibit, and he hasn't been able to get anything in the strike zone since then!"

A Please Wipe Your Feet mat with words mixed up at the Dyslexic clinic.

I laughed so hard that milk came out my nose.

Sticker: 'How's my driving you nuts?'

'Number 1 on my fave 5 is Dial-A-Prayer.'

"Stop complaining...now when you wander off in the store, I can find you!"