Humor In Love Gifts

"Must you sing, 'I'm in the mood for love' everytime you want sex?"

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

Sexual chemistry set

"Yo, Ned Beatty, paddle harder if you ever want to kiss me again."

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

Reading the sports pages.

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

Early man wasn't exactly enthusiastic about the development of language.

'Butch, did you shoot my liberty valance?'

Aging Problems

His and Hers Wedding

"What do you mean, there's no room for my stuff?"

'Will you marry me, Gloria?'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

'Marry me, and make me the happiest man in the world.' 'You want BOTH?!'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'Have you beed seeing other females?'

Missing Persons - "50 years old, 16 stone and bad tempered... Are you sure you want her back?"

'...and another thing - why do I always have to sleep in the wet spot?'

'Great sermon, Reverend! Too bad my husband couldn't stay awake to hear it.'

Bowling. 24 Lanes. Going bowling for date night with my girlfriend as a bad idea. A split was inevitable.

'What d'you mean, I never take you anywhere-who took you to the Festival of Britain?'

"You knew I was high maintenance when we met."

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

'Good news Darling You've received loads of bids,,,'

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

"Let's take in a trial."

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

"Fancy crashing at my pad later, babe?"

"Ah-h, her comes my better half now."

"At first, Dwayne's gymnastic prowess had mesmerized Sarah, but now she longed for more..."

"We never talk anymore."

"I liked it better when we just had your people call my people."