Humor In Romance Gifts

Cupid finds love.

"Talk nerdy to me."

"Call me?"

Sexual chemistry set

Dog in love

Reading the sports pages.

Excess Baggage: By the time the male of the species admits he is lost. It is generally too late.

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

"So you kiss me and I turn into a prince? No thanks, sweetie, I'm gay. I'm already a queen."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

"Honk if you love me!"

Early man wasn't exactly enthusiastic about the development of language.

Aging Problems

'Shuck me.'

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

“It’s the only way we can get him to kiss her.”

'Marry me, and make me the happiest man in the world.' 'You want BOTH?!'

Boy on father's knee

"You knew I was high maintenance when we met."

'What d'you mean, I never take you anywhere-who took you to the Festival of Britain?'

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

Bowling. 24 Lanes. Going bowling for date night with my girlfriend as a bad idea. A split was inevitable.

'You've got us backward. I'm Vinnie, and my short and subtle brother is Vignette.'

Missing Persons - "50 years old, 16 stone and bad tempered... Are you sure you want her back?"

"It was the unsubstantiated rumours that attracted me to you in the first place."

'...and another thing - why do I always have to sleep in the wet spot?'

'Have you beed seeing other females?'