Service Industry Veteran Gifts

'I have a complaint about one of your window clerks.'

'Why, yes, I remember you. May I suggest an undrinkable pinot grigio that goes well with a bad tip?'

"I take it everything is NOT all right."

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

'Is that freshly brewed?'

"Is it okay when I say HAVE A NICE DAY what I mean is DROP DEAD?"

"This is our soft opening."

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

"Wrong window. I’m a sea lion. You need an otter."

'Would you like a balloon with that?'

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

'The customer is always right...'

'Waiter, there's a drone in my soup.'

"He's my cousin. It's just until he can find a new restaurant to work in."

"An actor ... huh, that’s funny, because you look just like a waiter."

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

'Not for what I'm getting paid!'

'Having a family life and juggling two jobs? Isn't that a contradiction in terms?'

"You're right, Pierre, they are licking their plates."

'The beer's not cloudy, the glass is dirty.'

"Would you like to see a dessert menu or do you not need a little treat after each meal?"

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

'A tiny kitchen, one cook, and great food...I don't know how they do it.'

"This robot barista is so authentic it even got my name wrong."

The King of Salesmen says 'Why sir, I believe you need a new tie.'

'No tipping please.'

"We ran out of the little umbrellas."

"Isn't it enough we tip well? Must we also like him on Facebook and follow him on Twitter?"

I'm only a part-time waiter, I'm really an actor.

"Before you speak to the manager, we want to congratulate you on being our one millionth irate customer."

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.