Service Industry Enthusiast Gifts

'I never get tipped!'

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

"Hang on hon. A table with a more expensive tab needs me."

"This is our soft opening."

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

'The customer is always right...'

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

'Why, yes, I remember you. May I suggest an undrinkable pinot grigio that goes well with a bad tip?'

"He's my cousin. It's just until he can find a new restaurant to work in."

"An actor ... huh, that’s funny, because you look just like a waiter."

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

"Would you like to see a dessert menu or do you not need a little treat after each meal?"

'A tiny kitchen, one cook, and great food...I don't know how they do it.'

'The beer's not cloudy, the glass is dirty.'

"You're right, Pierre, they are licking their plates."

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"This robot barista is so authentic it even got my name wrong."

Lunch-Hour Highlights

"We ran out of the little umbrellas."

I'm only a part-time waiter, I'm really an actor.

'Is that freshly brewed?'

'Hi, my name's Mandy and I'll be your culturally inappropriate annoyance this evening.'

"Hello, my name is Eddie and I will be your customer tonight."

'I apologize for repeatedly asking if everything is okay, but displaying customer concern is part of our mission statement.'

'We are not responsible for any coats that might fit a member of staff.'

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

"Allow Me"

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

"I know it's hard to shift gears coming here from your day job as an editor, but the customers don’t like their drinks watered down."