Service Industry Enthusiasts Gifts

Waiter and waitress heaven.

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

'The customer is always right...'

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

'The beer's not cloudy, the glass is dirty.'

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

"This robot barista is so authentic it even got my name wrong."

Lunch-Hour Highlights

"We ran out of the little umbrellas."

'Hi, my name's Mandy and I'll be your culturally inappropriate annoyance this evening.'

"Isn't it enough we tip well? Must we also like him on Facebook and follow him on Twitter?"

"Hello, my name is Eddie and I will be your customer tonight."

'We are not responsible for any coats that might fit a member of staff.'

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

Top four least favorite summer camps of 2008.

"How is it you can commit to world class service but not to me?"

'Our compliments to the dishwasher.'

'We're well known for serving only the freshest mineral water, Madame.'

"I know it's hard to shift gears coming here from your day job as an editor, but the customers don’t like their drinks watered down."

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

"Thanks for waiting."

A Menu Board Lists The True Costs Of Lunch

"This one to your liking, sir?"

End Tipping Now!: 'I can't find a hotel that will host our convention!

'We're completely computerized. Just tell us what you want and I'll tell you if it's suitable for you.'

'I think the party at table no. 2 wants his check.'

Boy cleaning servant's shoes

Food left unattended will be eaten by waiter.

'Waiter, your tip's getting cold.'

"Hang on hon. A table with a more expensive tab needs me."

'You mean you want good communication and competent service?'