Service Industry Enthusiasts Pillows

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

'The customer is always right...'

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

'The beer's not cloudy, the glass is dirty.'

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"This robot barista is so authentic it even got my name wrong."

Lunch-Hour Highlights

"We ran out of the little umbrellas."

'Hi, my name's Mandy and I'll be your culturally inappropriate annoyance this evening.'

"Hello, my name is Eddie and I will be your customer tonight."

'We are not responsible for any coats that might fit a member of staff.'

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

'Our compliments to the dishwasher.'

'We're well known for serving only the freshest mineral water, Madame.'

"I know it's hard to shift gears coming here from your day job as an editor, but the customers don’t like their drinks watered down."

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

"Thanks for waiting."

"How is it you can commit to world class service but not to me?"

A Menu Board Lists The True Costs Of Lunch

"This one to your liking, sir?"

"Hang on hon. A table with a more expensive tab needs me."

Boy cleaning servant's shoes

'We're completely computerized. Just tell us what you want and I'll tell you if it's suitable for you.'

'Waiter, your tip's getting cold.'

'I think the party at table no. 2 wants his check.'

Food left unattended will be eaten by waiter.

End Tipping Now!: 'I can't find a hotel that will host our convention!

'You mean you want good communication and competent service?'