Service Industry Aficionados Pillows

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

'The customer is always right...'

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

'Hi, my name's Mandy and I'll be your culturally inappropriate annoyance this evening.'

"We ran out of the little umbrellas."

'I apologize for repeatedly asking if everything is okay, but displaying customer concern is part of our mission statement.'

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

"How is it you can commit to world class service but not to me?"

'The wine should be done anytime now.'

"I know it's hard to shift gears coming here from your day job as an editor, but the customers don’t like their drinks watered down."

"Thanks for waiting."

"Hang on hon. A table with a more expensive tab needs me."

Boy cleaning servant's shoes

'I think the party at table no. 2 wants his check.'

'We're completely computerized. Just tell us what you want and I'll tell you if it's suitable for you.'

End Tipping Now!: 'I can't find a hotel that will host our convention!

Food left unattended will be eaten by waiter.

'You mean you want good communication and competent service?'

'I never get tipped!'

We're with the gutter cleaning service.

Coffee shop request for tea in china cup.

"In lieu of a tip, can one of you take a shift for me?"

Cut out and keep your own Butler.

Maid.

'I appreciate your enthusiasm in serving me but I never tip more than 15 percent.'

Let me guess...reliable, fast technician!

Waiter and waitress heaven.

"Tipping before the meal helps me ascertain the level of service you may or may not receive."

Butler and Page Boy

"We're out of tuna fish, but the kid in table six said you can have a bite of his tuna sandwich."

I'd like a turkeyburger combo please. Ok. What drink would you like? You don't have to yell. I'm sorry, I didn't realize I did. Are you calling me a liar? No sir, I'm not. Not at all. So you're saying I'm stupid, then? So stupid I can't tell the difference between regular talking and yelling? Ok, then. I'll have a diet coke with my combo. That's be $14.95. Are you trying to say I can't afford it?! Let me talk to you manager. I AM the manager. What's that supposed to mean?