Service Industry Star Pillows

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"This is our soft opening."

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

'The Human Right Act bans ANY cruel or unusual treatment...we may need to rewrite our ENTIRE customer care policy!'

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

'The customer is always right...'

'Why, yes, I remember you. May I suggest an undrinkable pinot grigio that goes well with a bad tip?'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

"An actor ... huh, that’s funny, because you look just like a waiter."

'What do you recommend?.' 'A big tip.'

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

'Waiter, there's a drone in my soup.'

"He's my cousin. It's just until he can find a new restaurant to work in."

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"You're right, Pierre, they are licking their plates."

"Would you like to see a dessert menu or do you not need a little treat after each meal?"

The Waiter

'A tiny kitchen, one cook, and great food...I don't know how they do it.'

'The beer's not cloudy, the glass is dirty.'

'No tipping please.'

"Waiter!"

"We ran out of the little umbrellas."

'Is that freshly brewed?'

"Before you speak to the manager, we want to congratulate you on being our one millionth irate customer."

I'm only a part-time waiter, I'm really an actor.

'We are not responsible for any coats that might fit a member of staff.'