Service Industry Stalwart Pillows

End Tipping Now!: 'I can't find a hotel that will host our convention!

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

'The customer is always right...'

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

'Why, yes, I remember you. May I suggest an undrinkable pinot grigio that goes well with a bad tip?'

'Waiter, there's a drone in my soup.'

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

'The beer's not cloudy, the glass is dirty.'

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"This robot barista is so authentic it even got my name wrong."

'No tipping please.'

Lunch-Hour Highlights

'Is that freshly brewed?'

"Hello, my name is Eddie and I will be your customer tonight."

"We ran out of the little umbrellas."

"Before you speak to the manager, we want to congratulate you on being our one millionth irate customer."

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

'We are not responsible for any coats that might fit a member of staff.'

"I know it's hard to shift gears coming here from your day job as an editor, but the customers don’t like their drinks watered down."

"Relax―all I want is a good table."

"Sorry for the delay, sir - the 'catch of the day' turned on us."

'We're well known for serving only the freshest mineral water, Madame.'

'The wine should be done anytime now.'

'Our compliments to the dishwasher.'

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

A Menu Board Lists The True Costs Of Lunch

"This one to your liking, sir?"