Service Industry Veteran Pillows

'I have a complaint about one of your window clerks.'

'Why, yes, I remember you. May I suggest an undrinkable pinot grigio that goes well with a bad tip?'

"I take it everything is NOT all right."

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

'Is that freshly brewed?'

"Is it okay when I say HAVE A NICE DAY what I mean is DROP DEAD?"

"This is our soft opening."

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

"Wrong window. I’m a sea lion. You need an otter."

'Would you like a balloon with that?'

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

'The customer is always right...'

"He's my cousin. It's just until he can find a new restaurant to work in."

'Waiter, there's a drone in my soup.'

"An actor ... huh, that’s funny, because you look just like a waiter."

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

'Not for what I'm getting paid!'

'Having a family life and juggling two jobs? Isn't that a contradiction in terms?'

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"Would you like to see a dessert menu or do you not need a little treat after each meal?"

'A tiny kitchen, one cook, and great food...I don't know how they do it.'

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

"You're right, Pierre, they are licking their plates."

'The beer's not cloudy, the glass is dirty.'

"This robot barista is so authentic it even got my name wrong."

'No tipping please.'

"We ran out of the little umbrellas."

I'm only a part-time waiter, I'm really an actor.

"Before you speak to the manager, we want to congratulate you on being our one millionth irate customer."

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

How to become the perfect waiter. Lesson 83.

'We are not responsible for any coats that might fit a member of staff.'