Quirky Service Enthusiasts Pillows

'We must improve our level of service.'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

'The customer is always right...'

"If you are a Democrat, Mrs. Hooper-Smith does the Macarena during your pancakes."

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

'Hi, my name's Mandy and I'll be your culturally inappropriate annoyance this evening.'

'I apologize for repeatedly asking if everything is okay, but displaying customer concern is part of our mission statement.'

"Thanks for waiting."

"I know it's hard to shift gears coming here from your day job as an editor, but the customers don’t like their drinks watered down."

"How is it you can commit to world class service but not to me?"

"Hang on hon. A table with a more expensive tab needs me."

Boy cleaning servant's shoes

'You mean you want good communication and competent service?'

'We'll rotate them for free but you have to pay if you want 'em balanced.'

Street merchants 'Hair wraps' 'Henna Tattoos' 'Colonic irrigation'

Coffee shop request for tea in china cup.

'I never get tipped!'

"Faux wood grain towel dispensers, matching toilet plunbers, herb scented urinal cakes, where's it all end, Stan?"

Cut out and keep your own Butler.

"In lieu of a tip, can one of you take a shift for me?"

"Would you like to speak to our sorrow sharer?"

"Typical. They're happy to benefit from our service but just try and come in as a customer."

Maid.

'I appreciate your enthusiasm in serving me but I never tip more than 15 percent.'

Butler and Page Boy

'I told you the waiter would remember you gave him a 2 cent tip the last time.'

Git It 'N' Git

"We're out of tuna fish, but the kid in table six said you can have a bite of his tuna sandwich."

"Yes Mr Wilkins, we do provide a comprehensive 24 hours service but I'm afraid that doesn't include a cashpoint facility."

"I appreciate your enthusiasm in serving me but I never tip more than 15 percent."

'I want to complain to the manager.' - 'Sorry sir, he's out at lunch.'

Information. 2nd. Opinion.

Preemptive customer service.