Ancient Service Enthusiast Pillows

'We'll rotate them for free but you have to pay if you want 'em balanced.'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

'The customer is always right...'

Romans.

"Well. . . either it's sinking, or you got the measurements wrong. . .!"

'Anti-Graffito' worker about to erase hieroglyphics.

"No flash in the ancient mummy gallery."

"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

"You guys need to #@%!% fight harder. You're all #@%!% wimps! You call yourselves a #@%!% army? Bull%#!*!"

"Greece! Greece! Greece! Every day it's the same! Just the constant Greece!"

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"Surely, as the world's only superpower, we're entitled to a little mischief now and then."

"The horse is nice, but we could really use the blender."

'Behold! The curse of the pharaoh!'

'That's a bad omen no sooner does he invent the wheel than he has the first ever road traffic accident.'

'Hi, my name's Mandy and I'll be your culturally inappropriate annoyance this evening.'

Mummies for Dummies

'I apologize for repeatedly asking if everything is okay, but displaying customer concern is part of our mission statement.'

Book from the Library of Alexandria. Woman says: 'Have you seen how overdue this book is?'

'You know, I'm about to stop caring whether they're here legally or not!'

"I know it's hard to shift gears coming here from your day job as an editor, but the customers don’t like their drinks watered down."

"How is it you can commit to world class service but not to me?"

"This coin must be 2,000 years old. Try not to put this one in a pop machine."

'It was built by the ancients as a calendar. We know because each pillar has a kitten doing something really cute carved on it!'

"Thanks for waiting."

'We've laid it out so that twice a year the sun's rays will penetrate all the way back to the throne and smack him right between the eyes.'

"Hang on hon. A table with a more expensive tab needs me."

Do not disturb

'Definitely fake.'

"This confirms that the Babylonians interfered with the Egyptian elections."

"Now all we need is nomenclature."

"Say what you will - I think it's in very bad taste!