Service Industry Insider Gifts

Let me guess...reliable, fast technician!

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

'That's my table... but those aren't my chairs.'

'I think the party at table no. 2 wants his check.'

"Tipping before the meal helps me ascertain the level of service you may or may not receive."

'Would you like a balloon with that?'

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

'The customer is always right...'

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

"This robot barista is so authentic it even got my name wrong."

Lunch-Hour Highlights

"We ran out of the little umbrellas."

"Hello, my name is Eddie and I will be your customer tonight."

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

"I know it's hard to shift gears coming here from your day job as an editor, but the customers don’t like their drinks watered down."

'The wine should be done anytime now.'

'We're well known for serving only the freshest mineral water, Madame.'

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

A Menu Board Lists The True Costs Of Lunch

"This one to your liking, sir?"

Food left unattended will be eaten by waiter.

Boy cleaning servant's shoes

'We're completely computerized. Just tell us what you want and I'll tell you if it's suitable for you.'

"Hang on hon. A table with a more expensive tab needs me."

Writer, waiter, writer, waiter.

"Can you come by Table Seven? They have some edits for the chicken."

End Tipping Now!: 'I can't find a hotel that will host our convention!

'Waiter, your tip's getting cold.'

'I never get tipped!'

"In lieu of a tip, can one of you take a shift for me?"

'My name is Melanie, and I drew the short straw, so I'll be your waitress tonight.'

'The only thing I can honestly recommend is a generous tip.'