Service Industry Commentator Gifts

'We're completely computerized. Just tell us what you want and I'll tell you if it's suitable for you.'

Please tip in advance.

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"Here's something extra to cover his lousy tip. Blame his fifth grade math teacher."

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

'The customer is always right...'

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

"This robot barista is so authentic it even got my name wrong."

Lunch-Hour Highlights

"We ran out of the little umbrellas."

"Waiter!"

"Hello, my name is Eddie and I will be your customer tonight."

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

'We are not responsible for any coats that might fit a member of staff.'

"I hope you're not expecting a tip."

'The wine should be done anytime now.'

'We're well known for serving only the freshest mineral water, Madame.'

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

"I know it's hard to shift gears coming here from your day job as an editor, but the customers don’t like their drinks watered down."

'Our compliments to the dishwasher.'

A Menu Board Lists The True Costs Of Lunch

"This one to your liking, sir?"

"Hang on hon. A table with a more expensive tab needs me."

'Sorry,Sir - we only have the one.'

'Waiter, your tip's getting cold.'

Food left unattended will be eaten by waiter.

Boy cleaning servant's shoes

'A table near a waiter please.'

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